Honkage

If London drivers are crazy suicide drivers, then Parisian drivers are angry drivers.

Let’s begin with London. When we first began navigating the streets of London in that big bus shuttling us from the airport to the hotel, I had 12 million little heart attacks. The drive was beautiful. But the drivers. Oh my gosh. They are ridiculous. Cars and buses drive bumper to bumper, side by side, speeding up fast and stopping on a dime. And bikers! They weave in and out of traffic like the cars are stationary! They squeeze in between buses like little bugs, and I was so afraid we were going to squash one! Why aren’t there more accidents? I don’t get it. I never really appreciated the scene in the third Harry Potter movie (Prisoner of Azkaban) when Harry leaves the Dursley’s and catches the Knight Bus. If you have ever experienced London traffic, the scene is not far exaggerated. Okay, maybe a little. But London drivers are CRAZY.

And Paris. Well, the drivers aren’t quite so dangerous, just horn-happy. And when I say that, it’s because they honk their horns. At everything. They would rather lay on the horn than wait two more seconds for someone to move. And they let the rest of the world know that they are angry by honking their horns. Did you know there are different levels of honkage? Yep. There’s:

1) move

2) You’re in my way

3) I’m slightly irritated with you

4) Seriously? You just did that?

5) okay, NOW I’M ANGRY

6) ^$%#*#@($*%)#

And lanes don’t exist in Paris. I guess it works for the French.

There are also a lot more mopeds/motorcycles. And people park them on the sidewalks. Also, don’t be surprised if you see some classily-dressed lady riding down the avenue on her motorcycle. It’s actually really cute. I aspire to be like that one day.