25 things you should know when traveling to London...

1)      It is cold. Bring a jacket. Not just a cardigan. A jacket. Or a coat would be good. Foolish me brought about four cardigans, which does nothing to protect one against the tropic 50 degree F temperature and cold winds.

2)      It rains.

So bring an umbrella. And a scarf. It protects your neck when it isn’t raining, and serves as a glamorous, London-like fashion statement to protect your innocent hair from the constant precipitation.

3)      Mind the Gap.

4)      Always have at least 50 pence spare change in your wallet in case you need to use the bathroom and you can’t find a free public restroom. Then you can pay for 20 minutes of toilet time!

5)   Use the telephone booth at least once.

6)      Remember to look right before looking left when crossing the street. Don’t get hit by a car.

7)      Use public transportation. So much better than using a car. The tube is my favorite. And if you can catch one of the old red buses, it’s a cool experience.

8)      Beware of British children. They are the cutest thing known to man. And you’ll be sorely tempted to kidnap one and take it home with you for entertainment. Those accents.

9)      Beware of British boys. They have accents too.

10)   The Queen is a cultural icon. As is the rest of the Royal Family. So, if you buy that plastic crown or go to that one special event, you’re going to be just like the royal family.

11)  Water actually costs money. So you might as well be unhealthy and order soda.

12)  Drink tea. I had nearly four cups every day.

13)  Bring a calculator. Restaurants never give you separate checks. So you don’t want to be that stupid American that can’t do math and figure how much of the bill you owe.

14)  Always take the top level of the red buses. It’s so much more fun, so go ahead, let your inner child out and race to the best seat on the bus.

15)  Beware of the soothing rocking of the tube and the buses. They’ll put you to sleep faster than Lunesta.

16)  Try something new. Food wise. If you hate it, convince your friends or family that it is the best thing you have ever tasted and trade. Like fish n chips. It’s a once in a lifetime experience. Just do it.

17)  Never speak in a British accent. They know the truth.

And they will make fun of you.

18)  Wearing a British Union flag does not make you look British – it makes you look like an idiot. And they will make fun of you.

19)  Don’t take your camera into any of the churches. You will be tazed, fined, and exiled.

20)  When the signs in restrooms say “Caution: Hot Water” they mean it.

21)  The police are actually quite nice. I think it’s the hats. I mean, how can you be mean in that ridiculous constable’s helmet?

22)  If you are a girl, sit alone in a well-established café with an English book. If there is a young waiter, you will get free tea.

23)  If you don’t like birds flying within a foot of your face, London is not the place for you.

24)  Your hair will smell like smoke by the end of the day. Everybody and his brother smokes in London.

25)  And finally, don’t bring your phone. I left mine in Franklin to avoid roaming charges, and, at first, I was so lost without it. No time, no texting, no twitter. But I am so happy I left it at home. Oftentimes, I am so distracted by it, and though the convenience would help with certain situations, we fare just fine without it, and I love not having something that demands all of my attention.